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Joel 'The Retirement King' Morris
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He was like one of those automatons which danced around intricate clocks in stately homes; silver, delicate and precise. His movements were quick and perfect and he crossed the stage in leaps and turns of weightless grace. It was as though he possessed a kind of magic within him
that she had never known in anyone before.
- from a work-in-progress novel 'The Girl With The Sky Umbrella'
I think that many Cats fans tend to find that, sometimes, a very special performer will come along and they will play your favourite character and they will bring things to it you never imagined and they will bring that character to life in a way that fixes its hooks into you and just sits there, in your heart, forever. There's just an alchemy of talent and personality and for different people that balance is slightly different but for you...you just know. Joel Morris as Carbucketty did that, for me, and his performances will stay in my heart forever - to put it simply, he will always be My Carbucketty. But when I sat down in my seat at the Wolverhampton Grand for my first time seeing the new 2013 tour cast of Cats, I definitely wasn't imagining that that was even possible. You see, when went to see the show that night, I NEVER imagined I was going to get attached to any of the cast - and I don't mean that disrespectfully to them, I just mean that, given how close I had felt to the 2006 cast and how much I had struggled with the cast changes they went through in 2007 onwards, I just assumed I was going to have an inherent bias that was just unavoidable. And, if I'm being 100% honest? I was probably the least optimistic about Joel! Not because of anything Joel had done, but because Carbucketty being my favourite character is a lot of pressure, and, on top of that, Carbucketty wasn't always my out-and-out favourite, he only really began to win me over during the 'wilderness years' - the time between me seeing it in the West End when I was younger and me seeing it live again on tour, when I was watching the video over and over and noticing all the characters in new ways. Carbucketty - or Pouncival as the video labelled him - became more and more interesting to me, because I loved his mischief and - shallow as it may seem - I adored his make-up! The more interested in the show I became, the more the supposed 'smaller' parts became the ones I saw as crucial to the show as I realised just how much work and character and magic performers put into those roles, how vital they were to the show, and Carbucketty - as Matthew Caputo once so aptly put it - "IS the Jellicle Ball", he's one of those characters that people don't realise but, actually, the show would be hugely different without him. When I saw the show on tour in 2003, I was disappointed and so I didn't concentrate enough to grow attached to Carbucketty, despite him being my favourite character. And so it wasn't until the 2006 tour he nosed ahead of ALL other characters for good. Kevin McGuire stole my heart in that role and he was the one whose performance really built Carbucketty up for me and made me realise even more than before just how talented a dancer you had to be to play the part. So that meant that, when I was looking at a new cast list in 2013, instinctively I was just thinking Joel Morris was 'up against' the person who MADE the role for me and that it was impossible. Yeah...turns out I was very, very, VERY wrong; I'd never encountered Joel Morris before, and boy was he about to teach me a lesson for doubting him!! Although, it may surprise you to learn, the feeling wasn't immediate. I think that first night there was too much to take in with it being a whole new cast, so I didn't absorb Joel's performance as well as I should have done, but by the next night I was definitely paying attention and starting to discover that this Joel Morris was a lethal combination: adorable AND an I N C R E D I B L E dancer the like of which I simply don't think I have ever seen before.
There is simply too much I could tell you about Joel's performances as Carbucketty, all the sweet little interactions he put in and the funny reactions to Grizabella and Bustopher and Gus - his portrayal of the first Pollicle was always adorable and his antics in the backgrounds of songs were so utterly precious and funny and so in-character as the cute little Carbucketty who so often doesn't understand why it is he's annoying the grown-up cats. His CB was a little bit gullible when the older toms led him into trouble but he was also genuinely curious and I don't think Joel's CB ever intended to be a nuisance, it just sort of happened even when he thought he was being helpful! But, I cannot talk to you about Joel onstage without mentioning his dancing. His dancing, his dancing - oh! - his DANCING! It is simply divine. Heavenly. Magical. Breathtaking. There aren't enough superlatives in the world to explain to you his grace and his sharpness, his gorgeous lines and his perfect leaps and turns; he could perform the famous Mistoffelees conjuring turns on a piece of stage the size of a postage stamp without wobbling or even being in danger of losing control, and in London he actually did a few times in the Finale, despite playing CB at the time. Joel is a dancer in every fibre of his being and when he got the chance to shine in the Jellicle Ball he seized it and made every second of it count - I simply couldn't take my eyes off him. I have such admiration and awe for Joel and what he puts out there on stage: his work rate and his dedication is second to none, but also his brightness and sharpness and energy is incredible. He's only human: he's a crazy little thing in a way - although I say that with so much love, because it's what makes him unique I think, because he's a perfectionist and he's tightly wound, but that's what makes him the amazing performer that he is as he is always pushing himself. Joel never gives himself a break when he's performing, he's just not capable of living with himself if he goes out on stage and doesn't give everything he's got to give at that moment - if he doesn't give it all then he won't forgive himself for it. If anything the stage is where things seem to make the most sense to him - he has total control over his performance out there, can realistically set high standards and meet them in a way the real world doesn't always allow for a perfectionist like him! In all the performances I have been to, I have never seen him falter, and of the 12 men I have seen play Carbucketty, he is the strongest, definitely in terms of his ballet ability but also, I think, perhaps, in terms of his strength of character too. I don't mean that disparagingly towards those other Carbuckettys, I just mean that Joel is someone truly unique: he's unwavering and determined in a way very few people in the world are capable of being, and there isn't a single moment of the show where he isn't switched on - every interaction, reaction, right down to his always-pointed toes, is thought about and honed and it's just beyond breathtaking and endearing to watch. And when he makes a decision to kick it up a notch? My goodness it's enough to make you sit up straighter in your seat and to send shivers up and down your spine - there were a couple of performances where I know he did that, as he knew they were my 'last shows' and...I just was in awe, and also in tears!
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The night I first stage doored for Joel was actually the second night I saw the show in Wolverhampton and - Joel probably won't thank me for bringing this up - it wasn't really going so great at stage door for him at first! Don't get me wrong - I have total sympathy for people who don't stage door for Cats regularly and don't know the show and make-up and characters the way I do, I know it's hard to tell them apart at stage door sometimes and that is totally understandable, but the mistaken identity that night seemed harsh even by Cats stage door standards: Joel came out of the stage door and a woman gasped and stopped him to ask "Oh! Excuse me - were you the White Cat by any chance?" - I swear my heart stopped!! I'd already worked out he was Carbucketty and I was only at stage door to wait for him specifically, so I realised how bad this was on MULTIPLE levels! And I felt my stomach just drop at the confusion, watching it unfold in slow motion almost! Joel managed to tactfully smile and say "The white cat's a....girl...." and the woman explained she saw a smudge of white make-up and one of the cast girls ran off laughing at poor Joel's expense as he explained his cat was white and brown, and everyone was about to go on their way when out I jump. I have no idea what Joel thought when I leapt abruptly into his path and went "EXCUSE ME!" somewhat frantically - perhaps his heart dropped and he wondered "what next - am I Bombalurina? Demeter??" - but then I got to do that thing I so love doing at stage door and make a performer realise that, actually, someone out there was watching and cared immensely what they had done that night: "Were you Carbucketty?" - those big brown eyes of his went very wide and he gave me one of the best smiles I've ever seen before saying "YES!!" and I got to tell him how Carbucketty is my favourite and it felt so good. I'm not going to lie. He was SO appreciative and grateful, and he went off after his laughing friends going "Carbucketty's her favourite!! SERIOUSLY!"
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And that was how I became the official Carbucketty fan of the tour - when I went up to other members of the cast they would actually go "Oh! So YOU'RE the one who loves the kittens!!" and Joel told me I'd gone down in tour history for being a Carbucketty fan. I wore that like a badge of honour!! Anyway, the tour went on this way, I went to see it in Manchester and Stoke and Liverpool, the whole time falling more and more for Joel's Carbucketty. I remember I finally got to see the show from the very front row for the first time that tour in Liverpool...and I sat there and watched him and - more or less - only him for huge chunks of the show, just in stunned awe. The whole cast were really on top form that night in Liverpool, though, but Joel had my attention so much because I think that was the night where I really realised "Hang on a minute...I adore his Carbucketty and...I think he's probably my Dream CB..." - so of course what were the dreaded words I got to hear at stage door after that? Cast Change!!! And yes, Joel was going to be leaving, though at least he wasn't going until the second wave of changes, which would come after my next shows in Nottingham. I had two more chances to commit his performance to memory - and sadder still, two more chances to see him at the Cats stage door, just as I was starting to get to know him as well! When I went to see the show in Nottingham, believing it was my last time seeing Joel as CB, it was such a joyful, wonderful time and I had so much fun, but it was still definitely a bittersweet occasion at the same time - though I was delighted that I got to make some very special memories on those nights! The first night the new Rum Tum Tugger (Filippo Strocchi) picked me to dance with in Tugger's song, making the mistake of asking "Who's your favourite cat?" and even though I'm normally shy, even though I knew the polite thing to do, even though I knew it was ridiculous....I told him "Cabucketty!" - and oh, it was worth it! "Carbucketty she says!!" - I could see Joel smiling behind him and I just grinned unashamedly. The magic was cemented when the two came out of stage door at similar times and Filipo despaired whilst Joel was afforded the opportunity to mock-gloat as Filipo looked at me and just went "Carbucketty?? Really?!?" whilst shaking his head at me, and Joel was smiling, hugging me and going "Some people have taste!!" jokingly. Everything was just starting to reach that magical point in the tour where I could no longer imagine the show any other way, where Joel was officially My Carbucketty...but Joel was about to leave and I was so gutted about it, as I told him that first night at stage door. So the following night - my last night seeing Joel as CB before he left the tour - I was so emotional I was practically shaking. Joel put in one of his crazy-next-level performances that night and it sent shivers down my spine; I was in tears before the end of the Jellicle Ball and at the end of the show I blew him a kiss in the Finale and he blew one back and I just thought my heart was about to burst with gratitude for him for giving me a performance like that to remember him in the part by. That night at stage door he said he was probably going to bow out of dancing now his role in the tour was over - and my mum was amazed, because she had been convinced he had said he was 23, not 33, and when I told her he was 33 she just shook her head and told it wasn't possible because he looked too young!
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As things worked out, I never got to find out what Joel's replacement Carbucketty was like in the role - Jack Allen's tour-ending injury came just a few nights before I returned to see the show again in Llandudno, sadly, but that did mean that I was treated to the very talented, very superb super-swings Ryan Gover and Dane Quixall in the role for the shows I saw in Llandudno and Canterbury, loving their takes on the role and looking forward to seeing them in the part some more when I went back to the show in Birmingham in September. So, with that thought in my head, I went away to Seychelles for the summer...but whilst I was over there I heard rumours, rumours I hardly dared let myself believe...and what were those rumours? They involved one Joel Morris and the possibility that he had returned to the tour to save the day, resuming the part of Carbucketty once more. But I just refused to let myself hope that it could be true until I was in Birmingham and could see him with my own eyes - I didn't just didn't dare let myself believe it. I RAN to get a programme my first night in Birmingham - I tore that programme open and went right to the page where his headshot ought to be. And there he was! I let out an actual yelp of delight and danced across the foyer, running back to my mum, calling out "He's back! He's really back!" and scaring most of the rest of the people in for the show that night. And yet, I still didn't dare believe it until I finally got to see his gorgeous face in Carbucketty make-up once again. And once I'd seen that, I then proceeded to cry through most of Act One as Joel once more took my breath away as Carbucketty yet again. It was one of the most magical nights of my life, for sure.
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That night, as the show ended and I dried my eyes, all I could think about was seeing Joel at stage door - I was excited to see everyone again, but with Joel I just NEEDED to hug him so tight and thank him a million times over for coming back, because I was so overwhelmed and so happy. I spotted him in the entryway but he didn't actually come out for the longest time, so when he did finally emerge, I was actually busy chatting away with a whole group of cast when he appeared - Adam Lake, Cassie Clare, Hannah Kenna Thomas, Ben Mundy...but I saw him, out of the corner of my eye, and I think everyone suddenly realised they no longer had my attention because they parted just perfectly to let him through and I don't think it's physically possible to smile any wider than I did that night as I finally got to give Joel a squeeze again, him asking "Was that a nice surprise?!!" whilst a cluster of my favourite cast members stood around us in a circle going "Awwww" at our little Reunion Special in the middle of the pavement as if they'd been waiting to see the moment too! A nice surprise didn't even begin to describe it - it was magical and amazing and glorious and one of my favourite memories ever - you can't put into words what moments like that mean and just how special it is that the theatre and stage door can throw up these little surprises and memories here and there and take you off guard in the best way possible. And Birmingham was full of little moments like that, the perfect moments you just wish you could somehow frame and keep; over the course of my nights there, Joel asked for a photo with me, which was so sweet, and he took the time to thank me for being in the audience supporting him and told me how much it meant just knowing someone was out there, telling me it made the tough nights a little easier, and he and Adam Lake both demanded photos be tweeted to them after stage door a couple of times! Joel also threatened violence upon a chocolate mouse I had given him as part of a gift, promising to bite its head off!! It was just an amazing time to be around the tour, and the performances they gave in that time were so sublime, especially Joel - I just couldn't get over the fact he was back! He always took the time to smile or nuzzle my shoulder or clap by my ear in every show, but boy oh boy, did he save his best for last:I will probably always think of my final night seeing the show in Birmingham as the last performance I saw of the show how I loved it - given the changes that have been made to the show since then - and Joel is a big, big part of the speicalness of the memory because he did that thing he does so well where he just WENT for it, heart and soul. I was floored by his performance that last night in Birmingham. He stole my breath, he made me cry, he stopped my heart and he filled me with all the awe and wonder possible. I was already emotional that night, but watching him dance the way he did, watching him put in a performance like that...I just couldn't believe how lucky I was to be there to see it, how lucky I was to know him and to be able to go to stage door after the show and hug him and thank him and let him know that every move he had made on the stage that night had mattered, so very much. By the end of Act One I was crying so much...good tears, overwhelmed tears, bittersweet tears, grateful tears - the best performers can do that do you, bring every emotion out of you and have you smiling and crying at the same time. The moment the lights went up in the interval I turned to my mum, tears running down my cheeks and I said "Joel is KILLING me" and I was smiling as I said it, even as I had to blink back a fresh wave of tears. Thirteen-and-a-half performances on from that first night in Wolverhampton and he'd done it - he'd met the standard set before him, surpassed it, set his own standard and then smashed through it to become beyond any standard.
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I made a promise on my final night seeing the show in Birmingham that - even though at the time I couldn't afford tickets to see them when they transferred to London - I would definitely be there to bring them cupcakes, just to let them know I was still supporting them, even from afar. To this day, the special Carbucketty Cupcake I made for Joel is probably one of my favourite presents that I've given anyone at stage door! I was so proud of it! And all the trouble I'd had getting the cupcake right was made more than worth it by Joel's adorable reaction when he saw it. "Oh my god! Look at him!!" - he was so thrilled and so kind me, so genuinely touched that I'd come all the way down to London just to deliver him a Carbucketty Cupcake - they were all touched by me coming down but I think Joel was probably one of the sweetest because he was showing off his cupcake and he was joking with Dane Quixall about sneaking me in backstage to be their mascot for the night! The dearest moment to me was when he told me "I'll do Carbucketty for you tonight - is there anything I do as Carby that you particularly like that you want me to put in specially for you?" - I was too overwhelmed with gratitude to tell me so I just reminded him that everything he did as Carbucketty was perfect to me! And with that, I was on my way home, every bit as happy as if I'd actually see the show.
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Following the success of the Christmas cupcake, I went for it and decided to bake Joel a birthday cake, which I took down to London and somehow got to him in one piece, just a few days before his birthday in January. He was, yet again, ridiculously sweet and grateful to me, and he promised when he saw me that - once he'd had his pre-show massage - he would meet me at stage door so that we could catch up and he could take a peek at his birthday cake and presents. He was more than true to his word: we went across the road to a nearby coffee place and he was even kind enough to buy me a hot chocolate. And we sat down together and we talked for ages, about life and about the show and London and his plans for when Cats ended. It was one of the best afternoons I've ever spent, and beyond worth the journey down to London, even if my arm was sore the next day from lugging that heavy cake all the way there! We walked back to the theatre together and he hugged me a hundred odd times before taking the cake and informing me he would only be sharing it with those people in his dressing room! And, with one final hug, we said goodbye. Funnily enough, even though I didn't get to see the show, that evening is still one of my favourite stage door memories to date.
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When the Palladium run ended, I truly believed I had forever said goodbye to Joel's stunning portrayal of my favourite character, but I suppose, after such a journey with Joel in that part to get to the Palladium, I should have seen it coming that their would be one last (possibly last!) twist in the tale! And that twist? It started with Joel sending me a message...and that message had me freaking out! He told me he was going to be Carbucketty again! Because guess what? The tour had an injury crisis during its European leg and they needed a Carbucketty, and when that happens? Who ya gonna call???!!! JOEL MORRIS!
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I knew it was mad and crazy and ridiculous, but I also knew I HAD to see Joel play that role one more time - I just thought of how it would make me feel those nights, if I was sitting at home not doing anything, the whole time knowing he was stepping out on stage in the role I adored him in so much. Joel told me it was going to be for four weeks only, most of which time the show would be in Antwerp. And the more I thought about that, the more I thought how Belgium wasn't really that far...right!? Well, not when your favourite ever dancer is going to be playing your favourite ever kitten for (probably) he last time ever. And, to cut a long story short, I decided that Joel is one of the only two people I would ever drop everything for, and I had to stand by the number of times I'd said that about him and...well, actually drop everything and just go! Looking back now, I can't imagine what it would have been like if I hadn't, and I am so very glad I took the plunge. The trip was one of those magical times when everything just falls into place, and no small part of that magic was thanks to Joel himself. I can't begin to tell you the sweetness and kindness and gratitude Joel showed me for coming all that way just for him, but I can assure you I returned the gratitude to him tenfold for his performance. Joel had had the chance to Mistoffelees that night, but ultimately went on as Carbcucketty...something I just can't tell you how important it is to me, I really can't, it's just the most special, wonderful thing. I know he wasn't feeling 100% that night, but as is always the case with Joel, to watch him on stage you would think he felt 1000000000000% instead, and it was one of the most stunning performances I've even been lucky enough to see (from the front row, on the end of the row, on Carbucketty's side of the stage!! - see what I mean about everything just falling into place?!) The magic was then all rounded off with the most wonderful long catch up with Joel, as we went off together for him to get some much needed post-show replenishment, and we talked over so much of everything that had happened in the four years we've known each other, everything from the show to the stage door to what's been going on in our lives and although it would be weird for me to report the ins and outs of the whole conversation, all you really need to know about it is Joel is so sweet, so genuine, so funny, sharp, quick, cutting, bright and warm, so polite and so kind and after he hugged me goodbye and told me thank you for coming yet again, I was the happiest person on the planet, so overwhlemed with gratitude and with all the emotions of watching such a special performance as well as getting to spend time with one of my favourite human beings to grace the planet with his presence.
I’ve always found that the most beautiful people, truly beautiful inside and out, are the ones who are quietly unaware of their effect.
- Jennifer L. Armentrout
So there you have it: Joel Morris...someone so special and dear to me and someone who I will forever think of as 'My Carbucketty'. he is the living, breathing, beautifully dancing proof that you should never say never! Believe it or not, I've not even covered all the sweet moments I've shared with him - none of his Nottingham confusion at where in the country he even was, none of his jokey-moaning about the show or London, not even mention of how kind to me he has always been whenever I'd made the effort to go and visit him, even the time when I couldn't stop to actually watch the show, I think what I have told you is probably more than enough for you to realise just how special Joel is to me, as a person and as a performer. You know, when someone brings one of your favourite characters to life, there is no way of thanking them for that. There is no way of letting them really, truly know that they have touched your life in this powerful way. Other than hugging them and telling them over and over 'That was amazing', of course. Cats has meant a lot to me for a long, long time, it's a show that is embedded in me and the emotions I feel watching it are so powerful, and then Joel just came along and he made that amazing thing even more amazing and there aren't words for that. Being able to be that person out there cheering for him has been an honour, being that person at the stage door waiting for him and giving him that attention...it's something I'm so happy to do. He's so sweet, and yes, like all people who play Carbucketty, he's just a bundle of adorable. But he's also probably one of the most talented people I've seen play that part and his portrayal of Carbucketty will stay with me forever. He should also win all the best smile awards going because when he smiles - especially as CB - it makes me want to smile too. I love that he loved Carbucketty having a fan and Iove that he danced that way and I just love that, even if I only got to see him play that part for a handful of shows, I will have that experience forever. Every dancer out there should know that what they're doing matters, and honestly...what Joel did as Carbucketty? Matters a hell of a lot to me, and I have to thank him from the bottom of my heart for doing what the theatre does best and passing those magic moments along. He's a sweetheart and a fantastic and talented human being, and I will be grateful to him forever and he will always have a special place in my heart.